Think Happy!

After struggling with depression for many years, I learnt a simple truth that has become the foundation of this blog: Happiness is a state of mind.

This should really have been clear to me over 16 years ago. The first counsellor that I saw would speak about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and tried to help me see that I could begin challenging my depression by re-thinking my thoughts about myself, the world around me and my experience of it. However, though this rang true for me at the time, for some reason I was able to ignore it without seeing it make any real difference to my life. It wasn’t until I was training for the World Memory Championships that I began to look at the power and potential of the human mind in more depth.

Yet, it wasn’t until my latest bout of depression that I began to explore applying the mind to work on itself! I had learnt, via CBT that dwelling on negative thoughts produces negative feelings. When this becomes a predominant state of mind, it can lead to anxiety, stress and depression. So, surely it could work the other way around?

Can We Really Think Ourselves Happy?

Simplifying the issues, to be depressed means that you have depressed thoughts most of the time. By contrast, happy people are, essentially, those who think happy thoughts. This shouldn’t be at all surprising, because we would naturally expect our thoughts to have an influence on the way we feel and how we act.

Dr Patrick Quanten demonstrates how thinking happy thoughts most of the time, ’causes biological changes in the brain that in turn have profound beneficial effects on the body’s physiology.’

…happy thoughts of all kinds, loving thoughts, thoughts of peace and tranquillity, of compassion, friendliness, kindness, generosity, affection, warmth, and intimacy each produce a corresponding state of physiology via the flux of neurotransmitters and hormones in the central nervous system and throughout the entire body. The profound physiological changes that happy thoughts induce lead to good health because the neurotransmitters that mediate them in the body have a stimulating effect. If the body’s immune system is weakened by feelings of anger, apathy, enmity, resentment, conflict, and gloom, then happy thought patterns should serve to increase the body’s resistance to disease through a similar, but reversed effect.

We all know that the brain controls the body, so it is perfectly natural that if the brain tells the body it is happy that the body will go along for the ride! This isn’t about faking anything. It’s all about taking control of our own moods and making the decision for happiness.

How do we Think Ourselves Happy?!

In my experience, there are 3 simple steps to thinking happy:

1. Act as if you are happy!

Even if you aren’t (yet!), act as if you are in that state of happiness. How would you respond to that driver who cuts you up? How would you treat your kids? What would you do with your spare time? This may sound ridiculously simple, but trust me, it really works!

2. Think as if you are happy

When I was deep in a depressive mindset I would always think the worst, especially of myself. If someone praised a new T-Shirt I had, I would think to myself, “They think my Jeans look stupid.” If my kids forgot to say, “Love you, Dad!” before they ran out of the house, I would feel justified in labelling myself a failure as a parent. It’s a vicious cycle and the only way out is to challenge it head-on.

Try thinking to yourself, “How would I interpret/react to this situation if I was in a happy frame of mind?” It takes practice, but with time it becomes a habit.

3. Feel as though you were already happy

This last point naturally follows on from the previous two. The result of acting happier and thinking happier is -you’ll be pleased to know! - feeling happier. However, at first, it may take a kick-start. So, it can be helpful to pay attention to how you are actually feeling. Don’t settle for saying, “low” or “crap!”, but try to describe how that actually feels.

When you’ve reached that point of actually being in touch with your emotions, move on to saying, “And how would I feel right now if I was happy?” You then end up with a positive cycle, where you naturally challenge how you’re feeling and the negative thoughts and actions associated with that.

Why Not Tackle the Negative Thoughts First?

If the negative pattern of thinking is the barrier to happiness, why not deal with that first, rather than in the order I’ve suggested (actions-thoughts-feelings)? The honest answer is simply that this is what works for me.

If I had tackled my thoughts directly, I suspect it would have proved fruitless, as I was in no frame of mind to do so. I also would have felt silly because I may have felt like I was trying to trick or psycho-analyse myself. However, starting with my actions meant that I began by challenging my negative responses, allowing me to respond more positively to the attempted re-framing of my thoughts - resulting in happier feelings!

So, there you have it. Now, go think happy! And let me know how you get on.