Think Happy!

At some point, I will write a post on the value of laughter. However, I’m suspect that such a view is intuitive enough to need little defence. So, for now, I will simply leave you with these wonderful sayings from the unmatched Jack Handey:

“I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.”

“If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, “God is crying.” And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, “Probably because of something you did.”"

“Broken promises don’t upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?”

“The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.”

“To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other.”

“I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you’re in midair, you still hit those brakes! Hey, better try the emergency brake!”

“If you want to be the popular one at a party, here’s a good thing to do: Go up to some people who are talking and laughing and say, “Well, technically that’s illegal.” It might fit in with what somebody just said. And even if it doesn’t, so what, I hate this stupid party.”

“Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you’ve never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It’s not love I’m describing. I’m thinking of a monorail.”

“Why do the caterpillar and the ant have to be enemies? One eats leaves, and the other eats caterpillars. Oh, I see now.”

“I think there should be something in science called the “reindeer effect.” I don’t know what it would be, but I think it’d be good to hear someone say, “Gentlemen, what we have here is a terrifying example of the reindeer effect.”"

“A man doesn’t automatically get my respect. He has to get down in the dirt and beg for it.”

“I can’t stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like, “Hey, when are you going to pay me that $100 you owe me?” or “Do you have that $50 you borrowed?” Man, quit being so cheap!”

“When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it’s not, mmmmmmm, boy.”

“Laurie got offended that I used the word “puke.” But to me, that’s what her dinner tasted like.”

“Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.”

“If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I’d carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like “Hey, look. He’s carrying a soldering iron!” and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, “That’s right, it’s a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.” Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.”

“I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.”

“Sometimes I think I’d be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.”

“If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.”

“If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace treaty, just as I was signing, I’d glance over the treaty and then suddenly act surprised. “Wait a minute! I thought we won!”"

“To me, clowns aren’t funny. In fact, they’re kinda scary. I’ve wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.”

“I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.”