Think Happy!

“How to keep your New Year’s Resolutions” has, unsurprisingly, been a popular topic on blogs and websites over the last couple of months. With only 20% of us managing to keep our resolutions throughout the year, I figure we could use all of the good tips we can get.

The good news is that three months in, some research records that 63% of people say they are still keeping their resolutions. So, some point over the next nine months, 43% of us will finally cave in. That – along with some people’s choice to give something up for Lent – makes now the perfect time to add a little more fuel to the fire and firm up those resolutions.

But, with so much good advice out there, why am I adding to the list? It’s simple really – I’ve not seen this tip anywhere else. And, as bold as it might sound, I believe that the 1 tip I’m including below is the icing on the cake. In fact, without this 1 step, all of the good advice in the world won’t help you keep your resolutions. (That should give-away that what I’m saying is hardly rocket science and has possibly only not been listed elsewhere because it’s just so damn obvious!)

The 1 Key to Keeping your New Year’s Resolutions

You’re gonna kick yourselves, but the 1 step to keeping your New Year’s Resolutions is actually incredibly simple:

You Have to WANT it!

I know what you’re thinking – that’s ridiculously obvious. That may be so, but that doesn’t mean it’s taken as seriously, or given as much credit, as it should be.

For example, the top two New Year’s Resolutions are:

1. Lose Weight
2. Quit Smoking

The trouble is, hardly anyone wants to do those things. And, as if it needs saying, no one’s going to do something they don’t want to do. As Blaise Pascal, the renowned 17th century philosopher and mathematician wrote:

“All men seek happiness without exception. They all aim at this goal however different the means they use to attain it. . . .They will never make the smallest move but with this as its goal. This is the motive of all the actions of all men, even those who contemplate suicide.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Tomorrow, I’ll be posting my 1 key tip to keeping your resolutions (New Years, or otherwise). However, I couldn’t pass the opportunity to link to a post discussing one of my favourite topics: Speed Reading.

Over at Lifehack, Thursday Bram has written a useful introductory article on the subject.

Speed reading isn’t just a matter of cranking up the speed at which your eyes cross a page, though: there are multiple methods for increasing your reading speed. It’s also worth considering that different approaches to reading have both benefits and drawbacks. In general, the methods that allow a person to read faster don’t always provide for the same level of comprehension that slower reading allows.

Read the rest here.

In a couple of days, I’ll be posting some tips on how to keep your resolutions. (Now seems like a good time, because I guess it’s around now that some of us are flagging.) In the meantime, enjoy this good stuff, from Pick the Brain:

Something happened on the way to adulthood. Somehow I started to become burdened with obligations and responsibilities. I became regretful over decisions made and full of doubts about those that would have to be tackled in the future.  I became saddened by the bad things that happened to the good people I knew, and from reading about the misfortunes of strangers. Life simply was no longer fun.

I would hazard to guess that many adults feel this way. In between childhood and adulthood, things like work, marriage and family intervene and suddenly we become incapable of experiencing the pure, unadulterated happiness we felt when, as kids, we were free of all these things.

…When we were children, we were given permission to devote endless amounts of time to playing games, having fun and laughing. As adults, no one is giving us this permission, so we’ve got to give it to ourselves, without feeling guilty about it. We work hard, so why shouldn’t we be able to have some fun?

Read the rest here.

Well, I guess that Christmas is the time for miracles, so finding this story today was a welcome discovery.

Anyone watching the patient known as “TN” successfully navigate his way through an obstacle course would have thought an eerie “sixth sense” was guiding his path.

Blinded by two strokes that destroyed his visual cortex, he has been unable to see for years, despite having healthy eyes. Nevertheless, TN successfully avoided all the obstacles, without a single mishap.

…TN’s ability is a rare form of “blindsight” – a condition where brain-damaged individuals who don’t have a mental image of their surroundings still subconsciously react to visual information.

…Brain scans had previously revealed that TN could recognise facial expressions, since the amygdala region showed increased activity when he was faced with fearful, angry or joyous faces. This suggested his mind could process some visual information, albeit subconsciously.

See for yourself below:

Isn’t it just incredible, what the brain can do?

Meditation may be more effective than drug treatments for preventing relapses into depression.

Mike Reeves-McMillan points to an interesting find on the BBC News website, which reports that Group meditation is as effective as drug treatments for stopping people slipping back into depression. The study, published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, found that Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy was actually more effective than medication in improving patients’ quality of life.

Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy is a blend of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and meditation techniques rooted in Buddhism. The effectiveness of Mindfulness practice lies in helping patients recognise their patterns of thinking and to note drops in their mood. This then enables them to stop depression in its tracks. Speaking personally, one of the most powerful things I’ve learned whilst battling depression is putting the breaks on the escalation of negative thoughts. So, this sounds great to me!

If you want to find more, check out the following links:

1. Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy at Wikipedia
2. www.mbct.com
3. www.mbct.co.uk
4. The Prescription is Meditation
5. Center for Mindfulness
6. The Mindful Way through Depression by J. Mark G. Williams, John D. Teasdale, Zindel V. Segal and Jon Kabat-Zinn

And, of course, a hat-tip goes to Mike.

“Daddy, teach me something!”

My kids have a great thirst for knowledge. The only problem is that I’m fairly sure they’ll discover the limits of my own knowledge pretty soon! (My 11-year old daughter is getting close with some of the Maths homework she brings home.)

Recently, my children and I were talking about the things that I’ve taught them over the years. They were partly mocking some of the nonsense I come out with from time to time and partly expressing amazement at discovering that their old man sometimes comes out with stuff worth knowing!

Somehow, we got on to the topic of “Life Lessons”, which my eldest daughter bizarrely described as “What I would say if a journalist asked me, after you’d died, ‘What lessons did your dad teach you?’”

As you’d expect, it took me a while to come up with an answer. In fact, I think I ended up only giving one “lesson” that day. I gave a new answer, on average, every 2 months.

Life Lesson #1 : Blessed to Be a Blessing

My first answer was straight out of my religious background. (The phrase is inspired by the story of the calling of Abram/Abraham in Genesis 12.) Though I might not give the story the significance I once did, I still think that the phrase captures something really beautiful.

You are Blessed

How would we change if we took the time, each day, to remind ourselves that we have been blessed. I don’t necessarily mean in a religious sense (i.e. by ‘God’), but if that works for you, go for it. I simply mean recognising the countless gifts that are given to us, undeserved, each day.

Everyone’s list will vary, but I’m guessing yours would look something like this:

Sunlight, fresh air, birds singing, family, friends, clean drinking water…

The trouble is, when we’re really not in a Think Happy kind of place, we easily lose sight of these basic blessings. So, here’s a useful exercise to develop those gratitude muscles:

Read the rest of this entry »

I really don’t like simply linking to other blogs all of the time. I’d much rather write my own stuff and enjoy the conversations that flow out of that. So, I was all set to write about the recent publication of a 20-year study by the British Medical Journal, on the Dynamic spread of happiness in a large social network.

While there are many determinants of happiness, whether an individual is happy also depends on whether others in the individual’s social network are happy. Happy people tend to be located in the centre of their local social networks and in large clusters of other happy people. The happiness of an individual is associated with the happiness of people up to three degrees removed in the social network. Happiness, in other words, is not merely a function of individual experience or individual choice but is also a property of groups of people.

I bookmarked the article and made a note to write a post about its findings, after the kids had gone to bed. Then, later, I got back online and came across this post from Alex. Just once, I’d like to get there first!

So, to demonstrate that I am not a sore hat-tipper, let me encouage you over to Alex’s place. His brief post – and the comments – raise an interesting question about the report and its findings on the spread of sadness/low morale in the workplace.

As you know, I’ve been thinking about Byron Katie lately. Although that post discussed some concerns, I’m actually pretty positive about The Work and more than happy to recommend it. In fact, it is my positivity towards it, that makes me want to spend few posts assessing it as objectively as possible, warts and all.

(It may be down to my British cynicism, but if you’re anything like me, you automatically resist anything that is surrounded by hype. (It takes me ages to go and see the latest blockbusting movie!) So, I find it far more helpful if something is recommended even though it’s less than perfect. The reality of an honest review is, well, more real!)

Having said that, if I’m going to spend time suggesting some possible weaknesses in Byron Katie’s work, it would seem like a good thing to start on a positive note. The trouble is, someone beat me to it!

One of my favourite bloggers, The Urban Monk, has written a couple of posts that are worth reading:

1. Undoing Your Painful Thoughts with The Work of Byron Katie, Part One
2. Examining Cause and Effect with The Work of Byron Katie, Part Two

Go and check them out, but just remember to come back to enjoy some of my negativity!

Do you fancy being happier? I don’t just mean, “happy”, but happier.

If so, you’ll enjoy these words from the hypnotist, Adam Eason:

I dont know about you, but I would never want to think that I ever reached the pinnacle of happiness and could not go any further, would you?

Happy is static. In order to supercharge your internal dialogue and language in general, you can mobilise the words and get them moving onwards and upwards for you. You can change “Happy” to “Happier and happier” or “more and more happy” or “increasingly happy” or “progressively more happy” or “more and more appropriately happy.” Use whatever feels right for you, just use other words to develop and power it up.

It is that notion of being progressive with our language that leads on to levels of actual happiness in life. Happiness: everyone wants it and most people can’t get enough of it. Is there a way to become happier than you are now?

Now, I know that you know that I’d love what comes next:

Some research indicates that the saying “Think happy thoughts” is the way to go if you are looking for a way to increase your level of happiness. One study found that people who thought about positive events in their own lives for just eight minutes per day for three days felt better about their lives a month later. Their satisfaction with their own lives increased significantly by simply thinking about happy life events. So is that all we have to do? Just think about the day you got married, or the time when your kids were young, or your 16th birthday party when all your friends were there?

…In he same way as weight reduction, if you want to become happier, you have to be able to put effort into it. I’m not sure if simply thinking happy thoughts for a few minutes a day undoubtedly make you happier, but it definitely won’t work if you only do it for a few days!

If you really want to change your life and make yourself happier, make a plan and stick to it! Take a few minutes every day to reflect on happy times, or take up a new hobby you know you can keep, or decide to go out with good friends once a week.

Now whatever you do, decide it’s worth the effort to stick to a progressive plan of being an increasingly happier person…

As I announced on my anabaptist blog, I’m working my way back to full health and online presence.

I’m amazed that it’s taken so long to get over such a small thing, but I’m pretty pleased that I managed not to rush it. After all, I’d rather stay off line for a month than risk losing sight in one eye!

So, whilst I ease myself back in, why not check out these posts:

Making and Keeping Man Friendships

Dealing With In-Laws Without Losing My Mind

Making up stories

What is Yoga all about?